Reiki and Children - A Mothers Experience

This was written by a Phoenix Reiki and Wellness client who wishes to remain anonymous for her children's sake:

"Every parent looks at their child at some point in time and thinks "I sure wish you came with instructions".  For the most part, you get to know the child and everything turns out fine.  First crying child needed to be swaddled.  Second needed sung to and third needed to be in constant motion.  Pink eye, ear infection, strep throat is fixed with a quick trip to the doctor.  I quit my job to be a mom.  Fixing is my job.

My heart was crushed around 5 years into my journey of being a mom.  There were things that I told my oldest two I would fix but it was not working.  Those two started showing signs of anxiety, panic attacks and even depression.  It got so bad that suicidal thoughts were being spoken.  I quickly put them in therapy and was also sending them to a psychiatrist.  Bi weekly talk sessions and medications were not helping.  I felt like a failure and most importantly I was scared for my children.  The medications were added to and changed monthly.  I felt like I was using my kids as guinea pigs with no results.  Something had to change.

Luckily I am an open minded parent.  Traditional is not working so lets try non-traditional.  I did a little research and decided to try Reiki.  After a Google Search I found Phoenix Reiki and Anne Marie.  Yes, it was strange at first.  Apparently my children are empaths.  Being told that they needed grounded and filled with light and protection bubbles was a bit strange for sure!  After the first sessions I saw immediate results. I could not see the blocked, small, cloudy, too large, etc. chakras being fixed but my children could feel it. To my surprise the Reiki sessions even worked from Anne Marie's weekly phone calls!   My ridged children looked much more relaxed and happy.  No it was not fixed after one session, it takes daily work but Anne Marie happily gave us the tools to do that work.  My children are now armed with the healing crystals, techniques for grounding and protection they can do themselves and more.

Is everything perfect over a year later?  No.  But it is a whole lot better.  They are now teenagers which is a struggle on it's own but one child is off medication and therapy completely.  The other is also being weaned off and is on the lowest dose medication possible.  They know how to help themselves now when they get overwhelmed in large groups of people or after being around a grouchy teacher or coach.  Sometimes they need reminded, sometimes mom secretly grounds them when I see things getting out of control. Mom is still my job.  I am forever grateful for Reiki, it's a powerful tool that I highly recommend.  My oldest is Reiki 1 trained now, this has been a fabulous life changing experience that I am so happy I fell upon."

Peace To All

May we not get pulled into the vortex of negativity out there right now. Regardless of our individual political views we need to move forward and upward from this place to create a paradigm that supports all of us - holding the higher vibrational energy in the collective consciousness will help (we are all connected). 

Please remember as we are shifting up into higher energies the old heavy discordance needs to come up to be acknowledged, healed and released. May we all be part of this healing process. We CAN create change for the better in accordance with the greatest good for all if we choose to, lets do it! 

Freedom

As we celebrate the USA's birthday this weekend it's also a good time to consider what freedom means to us as individuals and to the human race.

Examining our lives to illuminate any areas where we do not feel free to speak our truth or stand in our power is a good place to start. What are the hindrances to that freedom and how can they be cleared away? Are these obstacles coming from inside of us, perhaps in our beliefs or self esteem?...

While the First Amendment grants us freedom of speech and religion in this country there are many all over the world who continue to be oppressed, many who do not have the opportunities for these freedoms. And here in our own country there are many who still suffer the oppression of poverty, racism and discrimination in various forms.

We as humans are all connected, the oppression of our brothers and sisters impacts the collective consciousness. As we look to heal any roadblocks to our own personal freedom may we also look to eliminate roadblocks on a global level for all who suffer oppression.

Let us celebrate the freedoms we enjoy in America and extend a hand through service work, prayer or activism to extend freedom to all humans that we may create an earth in peace and unity. So be it.

The Cost Of True Happiness

In my former life as a corporate Business Analyst we worked with cost/benefit analysis when determining if a project was worth undertaking (I know - the corporate world and I are not really a match however I did manage to introduce some Reiki and metaphysical content into our project meetings :) As we're heading into the second Mercury Retrograde of 2016 on April 28th it strikes me that we do this subconsciously in our lives as well, and if we can bring those subconscious choices to the realm of consciousness to be reviewed and perhaps altered we can increase the level of happiness and well being in our lives.

There is a cost for every choice we make, that cost is sometimes in the form of what we forgo to receive the benefit of our choice. For example, consider those who stay in an unhappy marriage for financial security, the cost of the financial security is not having a loving spouse to share life with. Also on the topic of financial security consider those who stay in a high stress job that makes them miserable for the paycheck that supports a particular lifestyle. The cost of that lifestyle is the stress and misery of the work that funds it. Many people stay in unhealthy relationships in order to avoid too much time alone; this includes romantic relationships as well as friendships. The cost of consistently eating unhealthy foods in an effort to find emotional solace may be our physical health.

It's beneficial to take a step back and look at the choices we are making in our lives to determine if the cost of those choices is worth the benefit received. This requires being very honest with ourselves and asking if those choices are being made out of fear. Fear of being alone, fear of financial challenges, fear of having to confront our emotional pain etc...Once the fear based (ego based) choices are brought to light we can then take the next step and ask ourselves what is the opportunity for healing that will allow us to move out of those fear based life situations. 

The healing needed may be to address low self esteem, release old emotional pain, to take responsibility for our own self care or even learning how to enjoy time alone. This process requires change, change is often a scary proposition as it involves the unknown. 

Ask yourself - are your life choices honoring to yourself or do they diminish you in some way? Releasing those situations that are diminishing to the essence of who you are is certainly worth the risk of making changes! From an energy healing perspective change is related to the second (sacral) chakra. When we have a firm foundation in the root chakra; when we are well grounded, change becomes less frightening. 

It's often helpful to request the support of a trusted friend, counselor or energy healer when undertaking this exercise in order to receive unbiased feedback as well as support. We are after all social beings and there is no need to try to do it all in a vacuum, by yourself. We all deserve to be happy and releasing situations that no longer resonate with our soul essence in order to create space for new endeavors that do is a powerful step to creating greater life satisfaction. Onward and upward!

Why Healthy Boundaries Are Important

Defining our boundaries is about defining our limits, healthy boundaries are important to our well being; our physical and emotional health. When boundaries are not defined or when they are breached we end up feeling drained. The lack of boundaries can be a result of many factors: conditioning from our upbringing, a fear of rejection, a well intended but misplaced desire to help another, or even guilt. 

From an energetic perspective it can be the results of the sacral chakra (personal power) being deficient, a heart chakra (love and balance) being excessive and/or a deficient crown chakra presenting as someone who doesn’t think for themselves but follows another.

Physical boundaries include your personal space. These may be invaded by someone touching you uninvited, standing too close to you or even someone going through your personal belongings. Emotional boundaries have to do with defining our own thoughts and feelings and keeping them separate from those belonging to others. Examples of this would be allowing yourself to be unhappy because of someone else’s mood (codependency - an excessive heart chakra), sacrificing your own dreams or desires to make someone else happy, trying to solve someone else’s problems for them (again – codependency) or even blaming your own problems on someone else rather than owning them and therefore owning the healing process. Energetic boundaries are breached when someone takes your personal energy or when your willingly give it away.

We can address this both in the physical world and from an energetic perspective. A helpful self-assessment from Terri Cole (http://www.positivelypositive.com/2012/06/29/how-to-create-healthy-boundaries) is as follows:

HEALTHY BOUNDARIES allow you to:

·         Have high self-esteem and self-respect.

·         Share personal information gradually, in a mutually sharing and trusting relationship.

·         Protect physical and emotional space from intrusion.

·         Have an equal partnership where responsibility and power are shared.

·         Be assertive. Confidently and truthfully say “yes” or “no” and be okay when others say “no” to you.

·         Separate your needs, thoughts, feelings, and desires from others. Recognize that your boundaries and needs are different from others.

·         Empower yourself to make healthy choices and take responsibility for yourself.

UNHEALTHY BOUNDARIES are characterized by:

·         Sharing too much too soon or, at the other end of the spectrum, closing yourself off and not expressing your need and wants.

·         Feeling responsible for other’s happiness.

·         Inability to say “no” for fear of rejection or abandonment.

·         Weak sense of your own identity. You base how you feel about yourself on how others treat you.

·         Disempowerment. You allow others to make decisions for you; consequently, you feel powerless and do not take responsibility for your own life.

Tips for Setting Healthy Boundaries - (Modified from the book, Boundaries: Where You End and I Begin, by Anne Katherine)

·         When you identify the need to set a boundary, do it clearly, calmly, firmly, respectfully, and in as few words as possible. Do not justify, get angry, or apologize for the boundary you are setting.

·         You are not responsible for the other person’s reaction to the boundary you are setting. You are only responsible for communicating your boundary in a respectful manner. If it upset them, know it is their problem. Some people, especially those accustomed to controlling, abusing, or manipulating you, might test you. Plan on it, expect it, but remain firm. Remember, your behavior must match the boundaries you are setting. You cannot successfully establish a clear boundary if you send mixed messages by apologizing.

·         At first, you will probably feel selfish, guilty, or embarrassed when you set a boundary. Do it anyway and tell yourself you have a right to self-care. Setting boundaries takes practice and determination. Don’t let anxiety or low self-esteem prevent you from taking care of yourself.

·         When you feel anger or resentment or find yourself whining or complaining, you probably need to set a boundary. Listen to yourself, determine what you need to do or say, then communicate assertively.

·         Learning to set healthy boundaries takes time. It is a process. Set them in your own time frame, not when someone else tells you.

·         Develop a support system of people who respect your right to set boundaries. Eliminate toxic persons from your life—those who want to manipulate, abuse, and control you.

Addressing Boundaries from an Energetic Perspective:

·         Be sure to put protection around yourself daily

·         Keeping the human energy system – the chakras, body and aura healthy and clear will support healthy boundaries

·         Pull in that heart chakra! J An excessive heart chakra sounds nice but it’s not good for us or for others. Mentally pull that heart chakra in to a healthy size. If you’re having trouble with this imagine or see a band of light around the front and back of your heart chakra like an energetic tube top and ask for angelic assistance in holding it in place (Archangel Michael is the angel of protection). Another helpful technique is to make a list of 10 things you love about yourself. Then make a list of things you can forgive yourself for. Offering love and compassion to ourselves is very helpful in maintaining a healthy heart chakra

·         Practice breathwork. Air is the element of the heart chakra, breathwork is a good way to get in touch with this element

·         If you have a small solar plexus chakra (third chakra) that presents as deficient personal power examine the groups you belong to and your place in them. Your home life, work life, social groups etc… Are there imbalances of power in these groups and how does that effect you? What steps can you take to correct these? Consider any unhealthy attachments you may be carrying and let them go

·       If your crown chakra is deficient meditation is very helpful. Also consider reading a book or taking a class in a topic that is spiritually or intellectually stimulating

A Valentine's Day Story

Many years ago shortly after my divorce I was still working a corporate job and my desk at the time was situated along a hallway. That Valentine's Day I watched women walking down the hall all morning with flowers that had been sent to them. 

I thought to myself how nice that was and and how much I would enjoy flowers as well but being newly single let the thought go. That afternoon as I left the deli after lunch there was an elderly gentleman standing out front with a basket of silk roses. He was very kind and handed me a silk rose which I put in a planter sitting on my desk. How lovely that my wish had been granted and someone had given me a pretty flower! I was grateful for this gift which had come in an unexpected manner and decided it was a present from Spirit.

About a week later there was another parade of women walking down the hall carrying their fresh flowers that had wilted to the trash can. I looked at the silk rose on my desk which was still as lovely as a week earlier and had the realization that which we receive in our current physical existence is beautiful but temporary. That which we receive from our relationship with The Divine is beautiful and everlasting. That silk rose is still on my desk years later as a reminder of Divine love.

Forgiveness

"To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that prisoner was you." - Lewis B. Smedes.  

Forgiveness is a key component to letting go of the past and moving forward; forgiveness of both self and others. If we don't offer ourselves compassion it's hard to offer it to anyone else. Forgiveness does not mean we condone the actions, nor does it mean we have to subject ourselves to it again. We don't even have to reconnect with the other person if that is best, forgiveness is something we do for ourselves. 

By forgiving we allow ourselves to put down the heavy baggage of hurt, pain and anger and move forward with increased lightness and freedom. Consider what opportunities for forgiveness exists in your life! If you work with crystals lepidolite is wonderful for supporting forgiveness. Lepidolite is a lovely lilac colored lithium mica, it has a soothing tranquil energy and also supports the third eye chakra/intuition. The lepidolite image below is from www.auburn.edu.